smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
