its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
