They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
