The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
