That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
