Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
