1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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