Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
