I cockslap morals
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
