He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
