A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
