Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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