I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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