u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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