ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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