Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize