Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
