I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
