She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
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Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
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You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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