my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize