I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
