dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
