i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You dont lie about slip and slides
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Let's get the cat blown out
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
