I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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