I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
