I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
