How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
