Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
