I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
