Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
