Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Randomize