guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
