Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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