Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize