I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
