I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
