i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I got inside last night via doggy door
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
