Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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