She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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