You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
