where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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