The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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