I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
