You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
