You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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