dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We are all done wearing pants today
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
