There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
