We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
