There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Can I color on your dick again?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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