you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
