Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
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In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
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drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize