that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
