erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
