Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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