So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
