Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
