no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
