Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
