i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
