i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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