I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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