I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
