I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize