I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
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