The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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