sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Everything about him screamed your future.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
