I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
