i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
zippers are such a cool invention
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I think i got beer on your cat.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize